Before Dave and I got married in 2001, I’d liked to say that we talked long and hard about having kids. Fortunately, we didn’t have to. We were on the same page from the beginning that we wanted to have 2 or 3 kids, but we wouldn’t start trying until we had been married for at least a year. We wanted to be comfortable as a couple before we started adding to our brood. The whole “kids talk” lasted approximately 2 minutes and 12 seconds. Then we went out for drinks.
Now, 7 years later, with 5-year old Jake and 3-year old Emma on the scene, I realize that how many kids to have was the easiest parenting decision I would ever make. The rest has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And believe me when I say that there have been plenty of days when I thought that I had finally reached my limit. I had finally reached the point where I would call someone and say, “I just can’t do it anymore”. And then I would realize that I had to do it, and more importantly I wanted to do it. I wanted to raise these kids up to be true to themselves, no matter what.
For me, being a mom is about being honest…with yourself and with your kids. I have never been one to sugar coat things. I usually cut to the chase when I’ve got something to say, a trait I inherited from my own mother. If I am having a bad day (and there are many), I see no reason to try to hide it, to put up a front for other people. All that teaches the kids is that they have no right to their own emotions. I want them to know that when things are bad, it’s o.k. to cry about it. But then you have to pick yourself up and figure out what you are going to do to fix the problem. On the flip side, if you are having a great day, by all means skip chores, stay up a little later, have an extra scoop of ice cream.
When you’re a mom, all you can do is the best that you can. You can’t be anymore than who you are. While motherhood does truly change you, it only changes the problems that you face and the experiences you will have. It doesn’t change who you are as a person…good or bad. Be true to your emotions, and you can’t go wrong.
This is my entry into Write From Karen’s A Gift For Mom Mother’s Day Contest. Check out more entries here!
Filed under: Random Happy Thoughts, Verbal Mumbo Jumbo | Tagged: moms, Mother's Day, mothers
Thank you for sharing this. Just two days ago I caught myself upset over some seemingly unimportant thing, and rather than try to explain thatI was upset and what I was doing about it, I just kept myself busy and tried to be happy around the girls. I don’t think I want to burden them with all the details of my problems at 5 and 2 years old, but I think you’re right that it doesn’t hurt for them to see that we have a range of emotions as well.
Excellent words of wisdom, great entry for the contest. Good luck!
Great post. Thanks for sharing this. Good luck on the contest.